Gessy Alvarez

Childless

When I was much younger my husband said I was self-centered. He was often worried I would leave him. If I went out with friends and came home late, he drank whisky until he passed out. He tried to be a good husband, to wash the dishes, do the laundry, and clean the toilet, but for years I did what I wanted, and sometimes I told him what I did, but most times I pretended to be too tired to talk. Now I wonder about those early years. We are childless. I'm too old, too set in my ways. He's too focused on his career. I regret my self-centeredness. I don't understand why he stayed with me. I'm not a nurturer. But he must know this because he has low expectations for me. All he wants is for me to talk to him. Tell him about my day. Ask him, how was work?


CP

Gessy Alvarez grew up in New York City and New Jersey. She received her MFA from Columbia University. Her fiction and poetry have appeared in Letras Caseras, PANK, Pure Slush, Thrice Fiction, Bartleby Snopes and many other fine places.